


There For You

by invisible_slytherin



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-11-28 17:16:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18211247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_slytherin/pseuds/invisible_slytherin
Summary: "He did everything he could to make sure Eliott was comfortable and knew he was not alone without interrupting his words."Or, the one where Lucas and Eliott talk and open up to each other about what was going through their heads during the past week.





	1. Chapter 1

 

The couch where Lucas spent every night wasn’t the most comfortable place for someone to sleep in. 

 

Granted, it was a very comfortable place to sit on for some hours while watching a movie or doing something else, but sleeping was a different story. The couch had probably been one of the contributors to Lucas’ sleepless nights. Lucas knew that the thoughts occupying his mind were the biggest culprits, but the couch had probably helped his insomnia a little bit.

 

So, no, the couch wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep in. Or maybe it was and Lucas was wrong because, right now, he couldn’t think of a more comfortable place to be in. 

 

He was pretty sure there wasn’t a better place to be than right there, laying on the couch that had held his weight every night for the past weeks. No better place to be than with Eliott laying next to him, close to him. 

 

It was comfortable, warm, safe and comforting. It was everything and, suddenly, the place that had seemed so hard and uncaring the past weeks, was the softest and most beautiful place in the world. All because Eliott was with him and just Eliott’s presence turned everything into a better place.

 

Lucas was laying on his back, eyes closed, the television where some old movie was playing going unnoticed by him. He was only focused on the boy that was laying with him. All his senses were in tune with Eliott, only noticing him and not caring about anything else besides him.

 

Eliott was laying with his head on Lucas’ chest. One arm was thrown around his middle with his hand caressing Lucas’ side carefully. It had taken some time before Eliott reached out and touched Lucas, it had been a while of laying with a little space between them before Eliott had thrown an arm around him and rested against him. But Lucas hadn't minded, as long as Eliott was comfortable he was fine with anything.

 

Everything about Eliott still screamed insecurity and fear, he was clearly tense and holding back. But at least he was safe and warm and in Lucas’ arms and not alone like he had been yesterday and the days before. And Lucas would let him have all the time he needed to process everything and relax. And he wouldn’t let Eliott go until he asked him to.

 

Eliott held him a little tighter and sighed. Lucas brought one hand up to caress Eliott’s back and the other to play with his hair, making sure Eliott knew, without words, that he was there to stay. That Lucas was there for him and wasn’t going anywhere.

 

“This week was suffocating,” was the first thing Eliott said, the first thing to interrupt the silence that had settled over them for a long time now.

 

“How so?” Lucas asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace. 

 

“My parents and Lucille kept breathing down my neck,” Eliott started, tracing patterns on Lucas’ chest with his fingers. “I was already feeling low enough without them saying certain things and comments and controlling everything I did,” he paused. “I know they were just worried, but they ended up making it worse without even meaning to.”

 

It meant so much to Lucas that Eliott was being so open and candid with him. He was saying what he was thinking and what was worrying him and the trust he was showing was warming up Lucas’ entire being. 

 

But Lucas didn't know how to answer that, wasn’t sure how Eliott wanted him to answer to that and he didn’t want to mess anything up. Not now when everything was so fragile. He hadn't learned yet how to say the words he wanted to say, he hadn't learned what Eliott needed to hear. So, he just kissed Eliott's hair and held him as if he was going to disappear if Lucas let go for even a second and tried to communicate everything with just his touch.

 

“And I wanted to see you,” Eliott continued in a whispered confession. “I wanted to feel you next to me. I missed you so much, Lucas. I just wanted you back. But you sent me that text and then Lucille and my parents kept trying to explain to me how I was feeling," he frowned, frustrated. "They kept telling me that what I feel for you is all made up in my head.” 

 

Lucas felt his heart stutter then, remembering all too well the words Lucille had said to him. How much they had hurt him and how much of a fool he had been to believe them. 

 

He couldn't really blame himself that much, though. The situation had been crazy and not something Lucas was used to dealing with at all; Lucille had more experience with it, so he had fallen for her words. He knew better now.

 

Eliott raised his head then, his chin resting on Lucas’ chest so he could look at his face.

 

“I know what I feel. It isn't made up in my head. This is real, we're real,” Eliott said and it seemed like he was not only reassuring Lucas but also himself. 

 

“It is real,” Lucas agreed, wanting to make sure Eliott knew it was reality. “I'm here. We're here. Together.”

 

The smile that appeared on Eliott's face then was the most beautiful and relieving thing Lucas had ever seen. It was the first smile of the day, the first smile of the week probably and nothing made Lucas feel better than the knowledge that Eliott was getting better and feeling happier. That was all that Lucas wanted.

 

They stayed in silence a little longer, basking in the comfort of having each other close and in the warmth spreading through their bodies. Eliott was still a bit tense, and he looked like he had more things to say, but Lucas would never pressure him into saying them. He would let him gather his thoughts, he would let him think and decide what he wanted to say, if he wanted to say it. It was Eliott’s decision. This was about Eliott and Eliott would be the one making the important choices right now. 

 

Finally, after an amount of time that Lucas couldn’t define because time didn’t seem to be important at the moment, Eliott opened his mouth and started saying what was still tormenting him.

 

“I'm sorry about that night,” he started. “Last Friday.”

 

Lucas sat up, knowing where this was going and wanting to prepare himself for it. He had been haunted by that night for the past week too and it hurt to know that Eliott had been as bruised by it as Lucas, if not even more than him. 

 

He brought Eliott up with him, making him lean against him, with his head on Lucas’ shoulder and grabbed his hand. Did everything he could to make sure Eliott was comfortable and knew he was not alone without interrupting his words.

 

“I didn’t mean for that to happen. It was terrible timing,” Eliott seemed to be struggling with his words a little bit, but Lucas wasn’t in a hurry, Eliott could take hours to say whatever he needed to say and Lucas would just sit there, holding him and waiting for him. “I hate that I left you alone and worried.”

 

He cuddled closer and exhaled a shaky breath that hit Lucas’ neck. 

 

“I felt like I was on top of the world that night. It’s always like that. I always feel like a superhero, invincible and strong and powerful. I feel like I can take on anything and do anything. But then comes the fall down and the higher you are the more painful the fall is.”

 

Lucas stared at Eliott in wonder. He couldn’t even begin to imagine the strength this boy in his arms must have to live like this, to live with a mental illness that can make him feel like this, experience things like this. 

 

And to know that he is opening up to Lucas, telling him how he’s feeling and what’s going through his head, means a lot. It means everything because Eliott is trusting him with this part of himself that he keeps hidden from almost everyone and, yet, he wants Lucas to know and that makes Lucas feel special. It makes him want to never let go of Eliott again. It makes him want to keep telling him how amazing, and strong and kind and perfect he is. How much Lucas loves him. 

 

“I was so ashamed after the episode. I could remember what happened and I couldn’t forgive myself for it. This week... I spent almost every minute of the day regretting something I said or did that night. It wasn’t great.”

 

Lucas felt his heart clench in his chest just thinking about how hurt Eliott had been the whole week. It wasn’t fair that such a beautiful, pure person had to go through something like this. The world and life were so unfair. Lucas felt the need to fight with his own hands anything and anyone that dared come close to Eliott and hurt him, but he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t strong enough to take on the world, so he could only hug Eliott as close as possible and offer his support, show that he’s there for him every step of the way from now on.

 

“Yesterday was the breaking point. I couldn’t take it anymore, my parents’ and Lucille’s concern and hovering, my own guilt and shame," he shook his head. "I had to get away. So, I left the apartment and went to my refuge,” he explained. “It was still much better than being at home but the tunnel felt different. I couldn’t help but think of you and how we had been there together just a few weeks ago and I felt so alone. Even if that was my go to place to be alone, I didn’t want to be alone in there anymore," he whispered. "But I was.”

 

He raised his head then. Looked Lucas in the eyes and raised his hands to cup his cheeks.

 

“I had been there for hours alone. But then you came. You actually came to me and I wasn't alone anymore.”

 

He smiled and Lucas felt like the luckiest and most accomplished person on Earth. He didn’t need to surf a wave in Bali and he didn’t need to be a rich business man living in New York, he only needed to see Eliott smiling.

 

“Thank you, Lucas, for going to me yesterday, for being with me today. For forgiving me.”

 

Lucas shook his head and leaned up to kiss Eliott’s forehead.

 

“There was nothing to forgive. And there’s no need to thank me. I want to be with you, Eliott, I want you in my life and I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’m here and I’ll keep on being here as long as you want me to.”

 

“For a long, long time then,” Eliott whispered before kissing Lucas’ cheek and hugging him.

 

“Infinite time.”

 

And Lucas would stay for infinite time with Eliott. He would learn everything he needed to learn in order to be the person Eliott needed, the person he could turn to. He would be there for the highs and the lows and the in-betweens, he would be there every time Elliott needed him and he would give him all the space he asked for.  

 

I promise, Lucas said in his head and sealed it with another kiss to Eliott's forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got around to finish this since school kept me so busy this past week.
> 
> Anyway, this happens one week after last chapter, the Saturday after episode 10.

Waking up with Eliott’s arms around him felt like waking up in the arms of an angel. Lucas had discovered that during this past week of waking up with Eliott next to him and, even though the circumstances weren’t the best, Lucas was happy to have that little knowledge come out of it. 

 

Today though, Lucas didn’t wake up with Eliott’s arms around him and, although he didn't want to feel this way, he couldn't help but be a bit scared that Eliott had left or that something had happened. Those feelings were slightly wiped away the moment he heard Eliott’s soft voice coming from the kitchen, though.

 

It was alright not to wake up in Eliott’s arms if that meant Eliott was feeling well enough to get up and go to the kitchen. Everything was alright as long as Eliott was feeling better.

 

Lucas got up. There was a smile on his face and a weight had been lifted from his heart, but the worry of thinking something might have happened was still lingering in his mind. He sighed before stretching and walking slowly to the kitchen. 

 

When he got there, Manon was putting something in the oven while Eliott was sitting on top of the counter drinking some coffee. It made Lucas and his stomach very thankful that Manon had managed to keep Eliott away from the stove. It also made his heart warm to see his boyfriend and one of his closest friends get along so well.

 

“Good morning,” Lucas said when he passed the doorway making the two of them turn to look at him.

 

Manon smiled at him and greeted him back before turning to the food again. Meanwhile, Eliott grinned, eyes meeting Lucas’, and reached a hand out so Lucas could take it and come closer to him. 

 

Lucas did just that. He held Eliott’s hand before being pulled into Eliott’s body and almost hitting the counter in the process. He glared a little but forgot about it when Eliott held him closer and kissed the top of his head.

 

“Good morning,” Eliott whispered on his ear. 

 

“What are you making?” Lucas asked Manon while reaching out to take Eliott’s mug from his hand and taking a sip from it.

 

Eliott rolled his eyes fondly and wrapped his arms more loosely around Lucas so he could finish the coffee without spilling it. 

 

“Chocolate cake.”

 

Lucas perked up at that, almost dropping the mug he had in his hands since he was still kind of sleepy. 

 

“I just put it in the oven, Lucas. You'll have to wait,” she raised an amused eyebrow in warning.

 

He grumbled something before cuddling into Eliott again. He was feeling particularly clingy today and, in the back of his mind, he worried Eliott would be annoyed by it. But Eliott didn’t seem to mind, so Lucas didn’t let go and just bathed in the warmth coming from his boyfriend.

 

“I’m going to take a shower while the cake finishes,” Manon said while taking her apron off. “It won’t take too long,” she added anticipating Lucas’ question.

 

She left to go to the bathroom and Lucas put the now empty mug down on the counter before wrapping his arms around Eliott.

 

“Is everything alright?” Eliott asked into his hair, not being used to seeing Lucas being this clingy and cuddly.

 

Lucas thought of lying, he thought about telling Eliott that everything was fine and move on. However, Eliott knew him well enough not to believe him and Lucas was done with keeping things to himself and bottling up his feelings. Therefore, he sighed before taking a step back so he could look at Eliott’s face and tell him what was in his head.

 

“I don't wanna feel like this and I don't want you to feel like I'm doubting something or hovering too much,” he justified before even getting to the point. “It's just that sometimes, when I wake up alone, I still worry that you left or something happened.”

 

“Lucas…”

 

“I know rationally that it’s not the case and you just got up,” he interrupted before Eliott could say anything. “But… I don’t know.”

 

“You know I won’t get back to Lucille," Eliott said, thinking back to that Saturday morning when Lucas had expressed the same fear. "I’m with you, Lucas. I love you. What happened that time won’t happen again.”

 

“I know that,” Lucas reassured, his left hand caressing Eliott’s arm. “But it’s not just about that time.”

 

He took a deep breath before continuing, knowing that the worst part of the conversation was approaching. The part where he opened up like he hadn't done before.

 

“When I wake up alone, it also reminds me of that Friday at the boat,” he finally admitted.

 

They hadn’t really talked about that night after Eliott had opened up. Lucas had yet to tell the story from his point of view. That night had been hard on both of them, a fragile topic that Lucas was too afraid to approach and touch upon. He feared how much of himself he would have to bare, how much he would have to share and feel if that conversation came up. So, he hadn't talked about it in detail. But maybe now was finally the time to do it.

 

“That night at the boat,” he paused to give Eliott time to prepare for the now iminent conversation. “That night at the boat I was very confused and afraid. I woke up and you were leaving and I couldn’t understand what was happening. When I came outside you were nowhere to be found and, even though I hadn’t heard the water, a part of me still worried that you had jumped and something terrible had happened to you.”

 

Eliott looked down, expression ashamed and sad. Lucas wanted to stop talking, if only to wipe that expression from Eliott's face, but he had to do this. 

 

“I don’t know if she told you, but I called Lucille. I couldn’t find any answers and I figured that if there was someone who had them, it would be her.”

 

Eliott nodded, signaling that Lucille had told him that little bit already.

 

“She told me you were bipolar then. More like screamed it at me,” he chuckled a little in spite of the hurt he had felt that night and was still feeling, trying to lighten the mood even a little and not being successful at all. 

 

“What else did she tell you?” Eliott asked, obviously knowing there was something more about that conversation with Lucille that had tormented Lucas.

 

“Eliott…” Lucas tried, not sure if he should say everything or not, but Eliott just stared at him and waited and Lucas knew he had to do it. “I wanted to go with her to see you. I really just wanted to know if you were alright, I couldn’t even process anything else. But she didn’t let me go, she just said I had to leave you alone and…”

 

Lucas stopped himself before he could tell Eliott what Lucille had said after that. The part that had hurt the most and that had finished breaking his heart. Eliott knew there was more, though, and Lucas was grateful that despite that, Eliott didn’t pressure him into talking and just stared at him until he was ready to do it.

 

“She- She told me you didn’t love me. That you  _ couldn’t  _ love me and... and that I was just a whim,” he averted his eyes to the window, memories of those words swimming in his ears. “It broke my heart completely. I was already so worried and confused and then she said that and I couldn't take anything else anymore.”

 

He shook his head.

 

“The worse thing is that I believed her,” he sighed. “When she told me that, I just broke down on the steps and believed her. She knew you better than I did, she would know better.”

 

He was ashamed of that, believing that Eliott  _ couldn’t  _ love him had definitely been a mistake on his part.

 

“I know better now,” he hurried to say, not wanting Eliott to close himself off. “I was stupid for believing that for even a second. You’re more than capable of loving me and I know you love me as much as I love you. I know.”

 

“She didn’t have the right to say those things to you,” Eliott finally said after a beat of silence. “She was way out of line.”

 

Lucas looked up at him and was startled to see the waves of anger in Eliott’s eyes. He hadn’t told him to anger him or make Eliott see Lucille in another, ugly light, he had just wanted to be as candid with Eliott as Eliott had been with him when he told him how that night had been for him. 

 

“It’s alright,” Lucas said, wrapping his arms around Eliott in a hug again. “I understand her perspective. She was worried about you, too. You had been with me on a boat, we had been smoking and then you just ran way and she was worried. I understand that.”

 

Eliott looked like he wanted to protest, but Lucas didn’t give him time.

 

“I’m not saying it was the right attitude because it wasn’t, there were other ways to say what she needed to say. It hurt me a lot and there’s always going to be a part of me that will resent her for it. But I forgave her and moved on.”

 

He leaned up to kiss Eliott’s cheek and felt him relax slightly.

 

“I didn’t tell you to make her look like the bad guy here. I just told you because you deserve to know, you trusted me enough to open up about how that night was for you and I wanted to do the same.”

 

Lucas felt Eliott inhale and exhale shakily, making it seem like he was trying to control himself and calm himself down, letting Lucas’ words sink in. Finally, he looked at Lucas in the eyes before kissing his nose sweetly.

 

“She was wrong.” He chuckled when he saw Lucas was ready to say more. “I know you know that, Lucas, but I still want to tell you. She was wrong. You’re everything but a whim to me.”

 

Eliott gulped and Lucas stood straighter, already feeling the weight of whatever Eliott was going to say.

 

“You’re everything, Lucas. You’re the person who is on my mind and in my heart every day. You’re the only one I want to hug and touch and kiss. I want to tell you every single funny thing that happens in my day, I want to be there for you and have you be there for me every step of the way.”

 

Lucas felt his breath catch in his throat, he hadn’t been ready for that. For such beautiful words and beautiful feelings and emotions. He would never tire of the way Eliott could make him feel like he was melting yet was the strongest person in the planet.

 

“I love you, Lucas, more than anything. It’s slightly overwhelming how gone for you I am. It’s only been a few weeks and yet you managed to imprint yourself in my life, in my heart, mind and body in ways I don’t think anyone else did or ever will. You’re it. My everything,” the sincerity with which Eliott was looking at him made him feel like he was soaring through the sky and reaching heaven.

 

There were tears in Lucas’ eyes by the time Eliott was finished and he was torn between cursing himself for crying so easily and just letting the emotions run free. One look at Eliott’s open expression and his eyes also filled with tears and love made the decision for him and he let the tears fall without any more effort to stop them. 

 

“Eliott,” he mumbled, searching for the right thing to say and coming up empty handed and frustrated. “You know I’m not good with words. How can I answer that?”

 

Eliott laughed.

 

“You don’t need to.”

 

“I love you so much,” Lucas whispered and waited to see the blinding, beautiful smile on Eliott’s face before leaning in to kiss him.

 

Lucas might not be the best with words, he might not know how to say beautiful things and express how much Eliott means to him through them. But Lucas knows how to use gestures and body language, he knows how to make Eliott see everything he can’t say.

 

So, he kisses him, and then does it again and again and again. He kisses him until his lips are tingling and his hands and fisted on Eliott’s shirt. He kisses him until he can’t feel anything but Eliott’s skin, can’t hear anything but Eliott’s sighs and can’t smell anything but his shampoo.

 

He kisses him until Manon enters the kitchen again, ready to take the cake out of the oven. 

 

He kisses him while she does just that without interrupting them, something about the way they are intertwined telling her that she shouldn’t interfere.

 

He kisses him until Manon has already left the kitchen.

 

He kisses him until the cake has already cooled down enough to be eaten.

 

And, when he finally pulls back from Eliott’s lips to taste the cake that Manon had left on the table, he can’t help but think that not even the sweetest cake could come close to the taste of Eliott’s kiss.

 


End file.
